An erotic parody by Mark Darcy
Mark Darcy’s Parody The Jokers Grand Scheme will be in the Amazon store in the summer of 2018. This first chapter is a taste of what’s to come look out for further chapters in the weeks and months to come. Follow the blog to get chapters as they are published!
Chapter One: “The Capture of Batgirl!”
“It’s been two weeks since The Joker escaped from Arkum Asylum and according to the latest reports, Batman is hunting The Arch Villain down! Many in the criminal underworld believe The Joker has fled Gotham City!”
The female correspondent on the television screen informed an invisible audience, as she reported from outside Arkum Asylum.
“Damn it! This town needs an enema to clean itself of such bad journalism! That bitch is all, Tits and Arse. You just know she fucked her way into the job! Fled Gotham, indeed! The damn vigilante has done everything in his power to make my life a living hell these the past two weeks. It’s like he’s blaming me for the death of a close family member!”
The Joker yelled as he sat on his throne with Dr Harleen F Quinzel (Harley Quinn) perched by his side.
“Hey Mr J, I thought you went to prison for killing Robin?” Harley asked respectfully.
“Oh yes, of course, The Boy Wonder is dead. I had nearly forgotten about that, fuck I guess we did take something from him. But wouldn’t you think he’d grow up and let bygones be bygones; The Bat refuses to see sense! That’s why it was so easy for me to abscond, you know? How am I supposed to be rehabilitated, if they keep letting me escape? The damn warden wanted me out of Arkum, so Batman could hunt me down and make it all legal! The sad sap libertarian’s abolished the death penalty and as a consequence haven’t a clue what to do with me!”
The Joker said, giving Harley his view on the situation.
“They’ve done it before, Mr J!”
Harley reminded him.
“And look what’s happened every time, I always get recaptured and go back! But not this time, is that not right, boys?”
Joker asked, as three huge thugs dressed in black entered the room. All three men wore the same white makeup on their faces as The Joker. One of the thugs carried a camera and plugged it into the TV, The Joker had been just watching.
“We’ve got the shots that you wanted. It took us over a week to cut and paste all of the footage together, but we’ve done it, boss!”
One of the thugs said as he started the film.
The Joker replied, rubbing his fingers together as he watched film of Batgirl apprehending criminals. He noticed that she was a highly skilled martial artist, but she often only fought one person at a time, maybe a weakness that he could exploit against her he considered.
The villain watches the footage for a good two hours as different fights sequences were shown until finally, he sees Batgirl enter an alleyway on her motorcycle, and mysteriously disappear.
“You’re going to like the next part boss!”
One of the other thugs said, laughing? The Joker was about to slap the man down when the film moved onto a shot through a large window.
The ground floor window in fact, of a house that was situated near the same alley that Batgirl riding her motorbike disappeared from! Through the window, you could see a TV, and on the TV The Joker could see a willowy tall blonde doing stretches and various fitness exercises, apparently a keep fit instructor.
The scene slowly zooms out and there’s Barbara Gordon, the famed daughter of The Head of Gotham Police Department; Commissioner Gordon! She was working out, mirroring the moves of the instructor on the TV.
Barbara Gordon wore only a sports bra and a pair of leggings; the leggings clung to her hips, showing off her lean, toned quadriceps and gluteus muscles. The Joker watched her powerful thighs move under the tight leggings, his eyes focusing on her groin and the prominent camel toe, visible through the thin material. But was more mesmerised by her bouncing breasts, held captive by the elastic material that supported those lovely orbs!
“Hey Harley, I’d pay good money to see you in some girl on girl action with that pussy!” Joker sniggered!
Finally, Barbara switched off the TV and made her way over to a mirror situated in a corner of the room. Miss Gordon now standing in front of the mirror took in her reflection!
“Look at my lovely firm arse!”
Joker said, in a high voice, pretending to be Barbara Gordon, as the woman caressed her buttocks!
“I can’t wait for some random guy to use me like a bitch on heat. God, I love taking it in the arse!”
The Joker went on, in an even higher girly voice.
“That’s funny boss!”
One of the thugs laughed but slammed his mouth shut when Joker threw a book at his head.
“Shut the fuck up! Great! Now you made me lose my train of thought. The fucking slut was rubbing her hands over her pussy and feeling up her tits! Fuck that bitch is in heat! And so, so fit!”
The Joker said, in an excited voice.
“Should I rewind Mr J?” The thug asked.
“Of course not; numskull! NO! LET IT ROLL!”
The Joker shouted as he watched Barbara Gordon start to strip as she walks over to a wardrobe in the opposite corner of the room. Discarding the sports bra over her head as she went, allowing her ample breasts to bounce free of their confinement!
Finally, standing in front of the wardrobe she peeled off the skin-tight latex leggings.
“Oh, my boys! Look at those tits and that arse? Fuck I’ve got movement!” The Joker said, rubbing his groin.
Harley Quinn slapped his shoulder showing her disapproval!
“Oh, sorry Baby, you always give me movement!” The Joker sniggered.
Opening the wardrobe revealed another mirror this time attached to the inside of the door. Barbara stood admiring her nakedness in the mirror, plucking and extending her nipples! As they started to harden!
The index finger of her left hand toyed with the nipple of her right breast. She pulled on it slightly as she started to masturbate with her free hand!
“FUCK, the horny bitch!” Joker exclaimed.
Now in a highly excited voice, as he leered at the porno show Barbara didn’t realise she was putting on for the crazed criminal!
For twenty minutes Joker, Harley and the thugs watched every stroke Barbara’s right index finger made on her clit until the quivering of her buttocks and quads gave evidence to her orgasm!
“Oh My God Mr J, that’s made me so fucking horny, I need your cock!”
Harley pleaded, as her hand disappeared down the front of her skirt!
“Wait, Boss, the best bit is yet to come?” One of the goons informed Joker.
Barbara reached into the wardrobe and pulled out a very familiar black and grey outfit! The Joker leering again at her breasts, as she poured herself into the latex Batsuit and then pulled on the black boots, black cowl, grey gloves, and attach the grey cape; finally, wrapping her utility belt around her waist.
She then steps away from the wardrobe and goes over to an adjacent bookcase. Pulls on a book and silently, the bookcase slides open!
The bookcase revealed a secret room where Batgirl stored her crime-fighting gear and her infamous motorcycle. Batgirl entered the room, and the bookshelf closed behind her.
“Barbara….., Barbara Gordon is!”
“YES HARLEY! BARBARA GORDON IS BATGIRL!”
The Joker shouted, triumphantly!
“This is almost too good to be true! I can now snatch Batgirl, fuck her senseless, turn her into my plaything. And in doing so, embarrass and humiliate the hell out of Commissioner Gordon, and destroy Batman and Nightwing in one mighty blow! Boys, tell me you kept her under surveillance for a few more days?”
The Joker quizzed his henchmen.
“Of course Mr J, we have her timetable down to a T. We know when she leaves, when she comes back, her social pattern, and best of all, the exact alleyway and the secret entrance to her building. We even know where she hides the bike!”
The number one henchman replied.
“Excellent! Go steal us a van, pick up some chains and rope from the DIY store and don’t forget to go and see Poison Ivy, she’s got something special for me!”
The Joker ordered as the thugs were running out of the room.
“Harley we’ve got a porn movie to make, starring, Batgirl!” The maniacal criminal screeched at Harley Quinn.
“I don’t know what you see in that bitch Mr J? What she got that I don’t? My bodies as good as hers, plus I give the best head!”
Harley said, becoming jealous of The Joker’s reaction towards Batgirl.
“The bitch has a beautiful body Harley, same as you. Great tits same as you, and a cute pussy just like you, and she’s perfect for fucking; just like you! The difference is Harley, once I have broken her, she will help us destroy Batman and all his allies!”
The Joker laughed, hysterically.
“How? May I ask?” Enquires Harley.
“Once she is broken, she will reveal the true identities of Batman and Nightwing and every other infuriating crime fighter. When we know their identities, we will set each one up, turning the citizens of Gotham City against them, and finally, we will exterminate them. And, we may want to frame Batman and Nightwing for Batgirl’s murder!”
The Joker informed her.
“Kill the bitch! I very much like the sound of that! Can I do it?”
Harley squealed, waving her Chiappa Rhino .357 Magnum revolver in the air!
“We frame Batman and Nightwing for the murder and have Batgirl write a confession about the real lives of those two heroes. The spoken words of a recently deceased person are admissible in court so Batman will have a hard time refuting the claims. It’s perfect! No more Batman!”
Joker laughed, again and again, almost passing out from too much laughing.
(Six months earlier)
Thunder and lightning roared as the rain pounded down onto Batman. The Dark Knight had just broken through the glass ceiling of Joker’s latest hideout. Usually, the crime fighter would be busy fighting off The Joker’s thugs, but tonight, they were nowhere to be found! Batman, who typically would have surveyed the scene and reacted accordingly, stood still in total shock!
The Dark Knight was unable to move as he stared at the horrifying scene at the opposite side of the room. Batman saw that his partner, Robin had been stripped naked except for his mask; and was gagged and tied to a St Andrews Bondage Cross!
His hands were secured above his head with cable ties and his legs spread apart secured with the similar cable ties to the bottom sections of the cross.
Harley Quinn stood stroking the Boy Wonder’s cock while The Joker stood next to them.
“Greetings Batman! Please direct your attention to the screen behind you or Robin will suffer!”
The Joker squeaked, happily.
Batman did as Joker commanded and watch on the huge screen behind him scenes showing Robin being either fucked by Harley Quinn, whipped by The Joker, or being pummelled by The Joker’s numerous thugs!
“You’ll pay for this Joker!” Batman snarled.
“Sorry Bats, but the Boy Wonder left me wondering if he knew anything about sex at all!” Harley giggled.
“He isn’t much of a lover! Oh well, at least he got to fuck!” Harley added.
“Actually, we fucked him over pretty bad, Batman! He wasn’t very enthusiastic about sex; Harley always had to jump on him. But her mouth is the best and as soon as her lips were sucking on the head of his pitiful excuse for a penis he was rigid and ready to be fucked!” Joker said as he tried not to giggle.
“You monster!” Batman growled as he turned around and darted towards The Joker before he was met with over twenty hired thugs.
Batman fought hard and used everything he had in his utility belt, disposing of the attackers left and right until only a few remained. As five thugs stood between him and Joker, he noticed Harley Quinn kissing Robin on the cheek and waving goodbye.
“Finish him!” The Joker shouted as the thugs converged on Batman. The Dark Knight vaulted over the tackling thugs and made his way towards The Joker, only to see him whirl his fingers and a sharp knife glided out from underneath the cuff of his shirt.
He pressed the blade against Robin’s throat, slicing it open from ear to ear! Blood squirted from the open wound as The Joker scurried away!
Batman yelled as he watched the scene unfold before him. The Dark Knight snarled and was tackled by the five thugs. More and more of defeated thugs started to get up and started to attack Batman, as The Joker simply walked away.
“ROBIN!” Bruce Wayne screamed, as his body bolted out of bed.
“What’s wrong, sir?” Alfred asked as he entered the room to find Bruce Wayne pale and sweating.
“I had a nightmare a flashback!”
“Maybe the television will calm you?” Alfred said as he turned on the TV.
In local news today, The Joker has escaped from a neighbouring city! An invisible reporters voice exclaimed.
He was supposed to be being transported back to Gotham City for trial but has got away. It seems a gang of his henchmen wearing Panda Masks held up the transport, killing the driver and guards! The reporter went on.
“Joker has escaped. He better pray that the police find him before I do. Because when I catch him, I will kill him!” Bruce growled.
It was a late peaceful night in Gotham City and Barbara Gordon, in her secret identity as Batgirl was making her last rounds before heading home. She was thinking how easy everything had been in the last few weeks in Gotham as she rode her purple motorcycle at speed.
The crime rate in Gotham City had plummeted since Batman had decided to devote most of his time to crime fighting. The Caped Crusader was hell-bent on bringing Joker to justice and numerous criminals had been sent to jail as he attempted to hunt down the Prince of Crime!
However, everyone knew that The Joker had skipped town, and the criminals who decided to stay in Gotham were trying to keep a low profile.
Thus, Batgirl’s job was much easier now, but she was totally unaware that she had been spotted leaving the alleyway behind her apartment! And now the wheels had been set in motion for her capture!
As Batgirl rode her usual route, she suddenly heard a woman’s call for help. She swiftly whirled the bike around and headed toward the source of the cry. The woman’s screaming seemed to becoming from an alleyway just ahead. She could see movement at the opening and a flash of red!
Batgirl stopped her motorbike and saw that the screams came from a woman wearing a long red overcoat and slanted brimmed hat, which covered her face, all the way down to her nose.
Three huge thugs dressed in black sweaters, blue jeans, and ski masks over their faces were assailing the poor woman.
She must have been chased or dragged into that passageway, Batgirl thought, as she revved up her engine and blasted into the passage. She leapt from her cycle and tackled one of the standing men to the ground!
Her cycle crashed into a pile of aluminium dustbins, shocking the two remaining thugs.
“It’s Batgirl!” one of the men yells as he releases his hold on the poor woman while the other man charged at the heroine!
“Is that any way to treat a lady?” Batgirl asked.
As she delivered a roundhouse kick to her attacker, sending him crashing to the ground like the previous man.
“Bitch!” The one remaining thug screamed as he charged toward her.
Batgirl grabbed his arm and swung him into a brick wall, sending him to the ground. As he tried to get to his feet, a kick, square onto his jaw sent his head reeling, he landed at her feet unconscious she thought!
The heroine patted her gloved hands together to get rid of the dust and then went over to the woman.
“Are you alright lady?” Batgirl asked, as she took the woman’s hand and pulled her up.
“I am, but you’re not!” The woman laughed.
Her hat fell off, revealing a beautiful blonde, who just happened to be Dr Harleen Quinzel!
Before Batgirl could react, Harley sprayed a green gas into Batgirl’s face.
“Arrrrrgggghhhhhh!” Batgirl groaned.
As she felt her head begin to spin. Her eyes blurring as her breathing became difficult. Batgirl’s chest heaved as she lost her balance and began to sway back and forth like she had motion sickness!
This was just what the three thugs, who were feigning injury, needed as they quickly dashed toward the stunned woman, and tackled her to the ground!
Although Batgirl was still shaken by the gas, she wasn’t about to go down without a fight, thus she struggled against the three brutes as they fought to keep her pinned to the ground.
The tussle lasted for a few minutes before Harley got involved. She rained a few hard blows with her famed baseball bat to Batgirl’s tits and pussy, making the girl cry out in pain! Giving the thugs time to subdue the struggling crime fighter!
“Get off me!” Batgirl groaned as she continued her futile efforts to get free.
But resistance was futile as now her sore breasts were being pressed into the ground as two thugs buried their knees into her back, keeping her pinned, while their hands pulled her arms behind her. Another thug and Harley constrained Batgirls thrashing legs.
“Did you just ask us to get off you?” a voice laughed from the shadows.
Batgirl recognised the owner of the voice, but couldn’t say anything as one of the thugs had clamped a gloved hand over her mouth. Her mind raced in panic at the realisation she had been captured by The Joker! What the fuck did he want with her what was he going to do with her?
Her mind remembering what Batman had said they had done to Robin!
“I would be more than willing to do that, you know, but you would put up a fight again, would you not? And I have plans for you! I can see you obviously work out Batgirl. I imagine that’s why your buttocks are so firm and tight back here?” Joker said, as he kneaded and groped her arse.
“And such fine tits! I’m going to love playing with them. Flip her over boys!” He instructed his goons. Laughing, as he began squeezing Batgirl’s firm mammary glands!
“Bastard!’ Batgirl screamed.
As she wiggled her mouth free from the hand before the hand clamped over the orifice again.
“I can’t examine my new pet if she’s lying on the pavement. Get my hot little bitch on all fours where she belongs!” Joker ordered as his gang forced Batgirl onto her hands and knees.
The Crowned Prince of Crime began to grope Batgirl, sliding his hands over the contours of her body! As he did so he whispered into Batgirl’s left ear in a husky, raspy voice.
“It seems you exercise a lot slut, I’m glad you’ve been keeping yourself fit for me. Because it means our sex will be that much better and so much longer. I’m really looking forward to it, Batgirl!”
“Fuck you, Joker!” Batgirl squealed biting the hand clamped over her mouth to allow the retort!
“Fuck me, well how intuitive of you! You’ll be doing that all right as you’re going to become my little sex toy! You will serve me, as my sex slave, accommodating my every desire! I’m going to break you slowly and enjoy every second of it. Once you’re broken, you will serve me, and effectively become one of Gotham City’s hottest criminals. When that happens, we’re going to turn this city against Batman and all of his allies, and you’re going to help. However, I’ll explain that later. Now it’s time for business!” Joker whispered.
Moving around in front of Batgirl so he could see her face. His hand slid over her arse to her latex girthed sex, and proceeded to squeeze her pussy through to thin rubbery material!
“I own this pussy now!”
He laughed as Batgirl turned her head away in disgust.
“Here you go, boss!” Harley said as she pushed a small suitcase across to him.
The case slid along on the concrete, creating a scratching noise that caught Batgirl’s attention. Craning her neck, she tried to see what was going on and saw The Joker opened the small case. From the case, he pulled out a large syringe!
Batgirl’s eyes grew wide with terror as he held it up for her to inspect. With a sneer on his face, he then pulls out a glass bottle and slowly fills the syringe with a thick green liquid!
Harley Quinn had obtained the bottle of green goo from her friend and lover Poison Ivy the concoction made to The Joker’s particular requirements!
A truth serum and a mind-altering aphrodisiac.
He not only wanted to fuck Batgirl, but he craved for her to enjoy her desecration at his hands. And after her debasement to reveal the secret identities of all the other Super Hero’s. Particularly, The Batman and Nightwing!
Once the syringe was full, The Joker tossed the bottle away and held it in front of Batgirl’s eyes for her to inspect once again. Then grabbing her by the hair he pulled her head to one side so he could inject the contents into Barbara Gordon’s neck!
‘Fuck off! Get that away from me you scum. You’ll pay for this!” She screamed as he tried to inject the contents into her bloodstream.
Batgirl tossed her head from side to side in an effort, however futile, to evade the needle piercing her carotid artery.
“Harley, stroke our pet while I try and calm her down!” An irritated Joker directed.
Harley produced a scalpel from the small case and cut a slit from neck to rectum in Batgirls latex suit. As the tight rubbery material peeled open Harley grabbed the exposed edges and ripped appart the suit. Exposing Batgirls, back, hips and buttocks.
Slappppp, Slappppp, Slappppp!
“Aarrrrhhhhh you fuckers, stop!”
Batgirl could feel her butt cheeks starting to glow as Harley administered blow after onto her buttocks with her spanking paddle!
“Fucker am I!” Harley hissed.
“Well, how do you like this?” Harley went on, as she began to run her hand over Batgirl’s sex, tracing the line of her pussy lips with her finger! Harley Quinn going for the full on sexual assault of Batgirl!
“Stop, get off!”
Batgirl screamed into the gloved hand covering her mouth, as she felt Harley’s finger find her clit, and felt her thumb disappear into her vagina!
“Have a smell of my flower?” Joker said as he sprayed Barbara with a cloud of violet gas.
Before she could stop herself she inhaled some of the bluish-purple cloud. It filled her nostrils and throat as Harley’s fingers filled her pussy! A distant pulse of pleasure registered in her brain as the gas took effect!
As the toxic gas hit Batgirl’s nervous system, her head swooned, the gas dulling her senses. A huge smile decorated Joker’s face as he injected the green liquid into Batgirl’s neck. His smile grew bigger and bigger as he saw Batgirl’s eye pop wide open and then slowly fade into small black slits before they finally closed as she fell unconscious!
“Let’s wrap her up for Mr J,” Harley said.
Happily sucking Batgirls sex juice from her fingers. The Joker stroked Batgirl’s face while Harley took Batgirl’s Batcuffs from her utility belt and cuffed her wrists behind her back! As she was doing this, a van pulled into the alleyway.
One of the thugs opened the sliding door at the side of the van and pulled out a few chains and tossed them to his cohorts.
As Harley secure the chains to Batgirl’s shackled wrists, The Joker toyed with the sleeping woman’s stripped and naked body! Playing with her tits, squeezing the firm flesh of one orb while the other hand teased the nipple of the other breast. His fingers pulled and squeezed at the teat, all the while he sniggered to himself as dribble ran over his chin!
Once the chains were secure, Joker placed a bag over Batgirl’s head, and then stood up.
“Bring her along! And no touching she’s all mine!” He ordered as he made his way to the van.
Two thugs quickly complied, and carried the naked sleeping woman into the van!
Harley Quinn sat next to The Joker in the back and the thugs placed the sleeping Batgirl on their laps. Batgirl’s hooded face lay on top of Joker’s lap and as he stroked her hair Harley pretended to play the drums on the woman’s now rose pink nude arse.
The two thugs boarded the van and closed the doors, as the van started moving. The third henchman rode Batgirl’s motorcycle and followed the van back to their headquarters!
Mark Darcy’s Parody The Jokers Grand Scheme will be in the Amazon store in the summer of 2018. This first chapter is a taste of what’s to come look out for further chapters in the weeks and months to come.
Mark Darcys collection of short stories “Anticipation” and “Suzy’s Halloween are available in The Amazon Book Store now or to Downloadable for Kindle. You can order directly by contacting the author at firstname.lastname@example.org Cost is £5.00 plus postage.