Imagine the scenario: a girlfriend or wife accidentally stumbles across her man’s porn links on his computer. What pops up may surprise her.
On the left side of the screen (facing the camera) is the first woman. She’s spread-eagle, lying on her back, breasts dangling off to the sides. She’s sporting a perpetual tan with no tan lines, shimmery mauve lip gloss, and straight, black glossy hair. In a horny tone, she moans, “Yes, yes, lick my pussy,” while biting her lips in a state of “ecstasy.”
On the right side of the computer screen is the second woman—a blonde. She’s facing away from the camera as she gives fellatio to the other woman.
She’s on her knees in doggy style position, swaying her hips erotically from side to side, with her goods exposed right into the lens. The camera work is exceptional, and the scene captured makes you feel like you’re literally there.
The wife’s reaction is, “What the fuck?”
She watches the entire 13-minute session, which culminates in a steamy, juicy tongue kiss between the two after the second woman has gotten off.
Confused and bewildered, the wife freezes. She “never knew he watched porn.” In fact, when she had brought it up in the past, he skillfully brushed it off as if he had no interest in it.
87 percent of men have looked at some form of porn in the past year, and one in five go to it daily. I’ve heard men say that porn-assisted masturbation is intense, uncomplicated, and relaxing.
It seems to be compartmentalized, and in a different category from their relationships. They say it has no impact on their feelings for their partner, and that they don’t perceive porn or solo sex as a sign of infidelity.
Should a girlfriend feel threatened or concerned about her man’s pornography interests? In a perfect world, no. She’d be open to it and accept the fact that, like men will arbitrarily say, “all men do it, don’t take it personally, it has nothing to do with [her].”
But for many women, “discovering that their husbands have been viewing pornography is similar to uncovering an extramarital affair.
She’ll feel hurt, betrayed, undesirable, and rejected. His secret porn fetish may provoke (or exacerbate already existing) feelings of insecurity on her part.
How would the guy feel if he unexpectedly discovered on her computer, links to sites of well-endowed, muscular men, looking hot and sexy, moaning and masturbating, knowing that she’s going to those sites to “get off?” Would that threaten his manhood?
It would make most men feel really insecure, personally. ‘What, I’m not good enough?’ How long before she wanted to go out and explore it on a deeper level. It’s still fucking, whether physically or mentally.
Many women would rather a guy just tell them about his porn interests right off the bat. A woman might not like it, but at least she’ll appreciate the honesty.
For some couples, pornography and erotica work well as a tool in the relationship. Is it weird that my last girlfriend and I watched porn together before we ever had sex? I don’t think so.
To each his own. “I like watching porn with a room full of couples, said my male friend from work. “It’s exciting and sensual, but also it’s just funny and something to look at.”
Actively hiding his (or her) material and making excuses to avoid having sex is cause for concern. Does he have a low sex drive? Is it because of the porn she’s recently become aware of, she might wonder? It’s definitely a concern when there’s not enough of him to go around for her.
What does monogamy mean? Is having sex with someone at the computer, cheating? I think that if your partner considers it cheating, it’s cheating.
That’s not to say that a little porn can’t spice up the relationship from time to time. But if it makes your partner uncomfortable, then why do it?
Secrets do come up and that secrecy may come back to bite us. We can’t really hide things successfully from our partners, the people we’re intimate with.
If someone keeps a porn thing a secret, it’s as if revealing that they, themselves, feel like they’re doing something wrong in the relationship.
I guess what it comes down to is, in terms of the woman, would you want her to be doing that to you? If you don’t care, then maybe she shouldn’t care either—then it’s no big deal, I agree.
But the reason that some men hide it is because they wouldn’t want to open the floodgates to “his woman” becoming a porn aficionado. And as my friend said it so well, “If I got together with a girl and she wanted to watch other people fucking to get off, I would probably take it as an insult.”
I’m sure many people would. Me I find it a turn on, nothing hornier than watching porn with your woman!
Copyright © 2017 Mark Darcy All rights reserved